A PLEA TO ALL MUSIC LISTENERS

I have taken it upon myself to save the world from that devil in the airwaves, THE WORST CHORD PROGRESSION IN THE WORLD. If you are theory-illumined, you will come to revolt against the...

I - V - vi - IV

...progression. If you don't know what I mean, I will try to explain, following.

All western music is easily quantifiable thanks to what is known as "even temperament". Even temperament is the wavelength adjustments given that allow twelve even steps distributed within an octave. A piano is a good tool for visualization; start on any C and there are twelve keys(including that one itself)before the next occurrence of C which is described as "up one octave." However, a major scale skips keys in a specific pattern; these patterns are replicated no matter where one begins. The key of C is an easy place to begin because there are no black keys("accidentals")in C - all the notes that belong to the scale are white keys exclusively. For our purposes, they're all we need for now. As one ascends from C up to another C using only the white keys, let him/her say aloud:

C=1 D=2 E=3 F=4 G=5 A=6 B=7 C=1(start again, etc.)

These are the "diatonic"(tr. from Gr. meaning 'of the scale')notes. Diatonic chords contain ONLY these notes. For any major scale, the following order of major and minor triadic(1+3+5, 2+4+6, 3+5+7, etc.)chords is ALWAYS true...

1=Major(Cmajor) Another key:Bmajor
2=minor(Dminor) :C#minor
3=minor(Eminor) :D#minor
4=Major(Fmajor) :Emajor
5=Major(Gmajor) :F#major
6=minor(Aminor) :G#minor
7=diminished(Bdim) :A#diminished

No matter what key or major scale you use, the order is always the same. The chords are named the same way. The I chord is Cmaj, the IV chord is Fmaj, the vi chord(read "six minor")is Amin.

Now, let's look at the worst progression in the world.

I=Cmajor V=Gmajor vi=Aminor IV=Fmajor

I found myself auditioning for a really cock-rock-endorsed ensemble and a number of tunes by some sorry-ass-non-playing-white-motherfuckers(A term used by Miles Davis for Steve Miller which I heartily agree with and apply to those who deserve it)named "All-American Rejects" are on the docket. I had encountered them once or twice in the course of teaching suburban urban punks in Richtown, CT but having to actually learn the songs is a special kind of torture. Every last fucking song uses this fucking progression. 90% of the new non-metal rock tunes uses this fucking progression in some fucking other key or whatever. However, there are little nuances throughout the songs that actually make them worse but FORCE YOU TO LISTEN TO ENTIRE SONGS. The vocalists(both they and their lyrics)are beneath contempt with their lyrics about middle school infidelity and their non-vibrato-havin' nasal screeches that pass as singing. But I digress.

The progression is as ubiquitous now as its predecessor from every 50's song,...

I=Cmajor vi=Aminor IV=Fmajor V=Gmajor(Just sing "Earth Angel" and try every other 50's song lyric...)

My pitch...

I FUCKING STRONGLY URGE FUCKING EVERYONE TO FUCKING TRAIN THEIR FUCKING EARS SO THEY MAY FUCKING RECOGNIZE THIS FUCK PROGRESSION(thanks, Lewis Black)AND IN THE FUCKING FUTURE STOP FUCKING LISTENING TO, FUCKING PURCHASING OR FUCKING DOWNLOADING THESE FUCKING SONGS WITH THE CONSCIOUS FUCKING EFFORT OF ENDING THE FUCKING TYRRANY OF THE THE FUCKING GLUT OF THESE GOSH DARNED SONGS.

Let the comments enlighten anyone interested in just which songs have the demoniac keystone in question.